Between Holidays

Between Christmas and New Year, a friend taught me a marvelous German word to describe the said period, Zwischenjahreszeit, which meant the time between those two major holidays, two important if not the most predominant landmarks on calendar, in the predominant Christian regions and countries, in one of which, the USA, I have lived more than half of my life, just surpassed the time I had spent in my native land, China, in which, incidentally people are observing Christmas, as one of the "Hallmark Holidays".  To be more precise, it was the Christmas Eve they observe in China, known as "Peaceful Night", or "Silent Night", apparently after the Christmas carol "Silent Night" by Joseph Mohr (1792-1848), and was utterly devoid of any religious context.  It was quite disorienting to hear that numerous young people roamed about in the chilly streets and raided brightly-lit and thematically decorated department stores in China, jousting amongst the thickets of red Santa Claus, aka Papa Christmas (Christmas Old Man), and green Christmas trees.

Having left the secular Communist China early, I had completely missed that ungodly spectacle in China; while living in the US, with a Jewish partner, I still haven't gained personal connection to Christmas, one of the most important holidays on the calendar, and I equally have lost the connection to the most important holiday in China, the Spring Festival, more widely known in the US as the Chinese New Year.  I do still observe it, mostly with an obligatory meal centering on handmade dumplings, but I have skipped the excitement and anxiety during the Zwischenjahreszeit in China, between New Year and the Spring Festival. 

Therefore, instead of being tween seasons, I am in the no man's land, cultural wise.  I think it would be proper to call my state of being as Zwischenkulturen, with occasional excursion into the depth of those regions, even concurrently, such as the only two times I tried to visit a Christian/Catholic churches during Christmas time were when I was in China, in my college years.

In Dalian, a commercial harbor and sister city of Oakland, California, during a Christmas Eve, my friends and I tried to crash a service in a small parish church but were turned away.  At the same time, a shadowy old woman approached me, apparently having heard me of desiring for a copy of the Bible, hinting at that if I had visited the church more often, and gained their confidence, they would give me a copy of the Bible, which was and is not allowed to be openly sold or given away in China. I was rather put off by her air of mystery and didn't go back to the church.

Despite the obvious nervousness my sister felt when I let her know of our visit to the church, sans the fact of the Bible offering, she, being two years older and had been subjected to brain washing more, surprised me one or two years later, agreeing to try to enter a large cathedral in Shenyang on Christmas Eve.  The courtyard of the basilica was packed and we barely had spots to view the solemn procession, fitted with mitre, robes, incense, simultaneously spiritual and pompous.  And that marked the end of my church visit career during Christmas seasons.

A marginalized presence is a double-edged sword.  Being a loner, I don't feel too awfully excluded by such disconnection, and even appreciate the solitary time necessary for me to work on my paintings and drawings, without worrying about which department stores to raid in order to secure the right gifts against a long list; but time to time, an inevitable sense of alienation still set in, causing my holiday blues. I have benefited from my duel-cultural background tremendously, therefore, I shall not complain.

Yet, it is time to gear up for the high holiday in China and here it is time to take down the Christmas trees.  

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

I wish everyone happy holidays and a merry Christmas, by sharing some warm pictures of evening lights:













 

My Two Christmases in China

2010 winter holidays are behind us now but the memories of my "Christmas time" in China lingers.

Though without religion, I was intrigued by the rather mysterious rituals of Christmas and the allure of a secretive cult, and tried twice to participate or at least observe a Christmas mass in China and both times, I failed.

The first time, it was in the late eighties.  I was in Dalian, a beautiful port city in northern China for my undergraduate study.  On one Christmas eve, several friends and I went to downtown, and find the unremarkable small parish church near the center of the city.

The little courtyard in front of the church was half-filled when we got there around 7 or 8 pm.  We were able to peep into the nave and it was almost full, and the empty seats were all reserved as well.  Even our attempt to take a quick look of the interior was thwarted by the vigilant guards who obviously distrusted anyone unfamiliar.

We lingered a bit in the courtyard, trying to assess what we might gain by waiting out patiently.  An old woman circled around us slowly and made small talks to us.  She seemed nice enough so we chatted with her a bit.  She was willing to help but she told us that only people who were affiliated with the church could go in for the service.  Disappointed, I asked her for a consolation prize - a Bible.  I had read selected stories from the Bible but not itself.  Bible was and is not allowed to be sold in bookstores there.  She carefully watched our surroundings, and took me to a corner, out of ear shots of the others and briefed me that if I was indeed interested in the Bible, I should try to visit the church often and they'd notice me and invite me to services and eventually they'd give me a copy.  It was not allowed to do it publicly, therefore I need to be discreet about her help.  The tenacity it demanded was too much, considering that it took more than hour-long expensive bus ride from my remote campus to get there, I gave it up.

My next try was the winter after I graduated from college and before I came to the U.S.  There was an immense cathedral in my home city, Shenyang, which was the center of Christmas Eve mass, which my sister and I tried to be part of it.  However, our effort was thwarted once again, by the incredibly thick crowd, braving the freezing cold night.  We were there rather late and only caught a glimpse of the procession - a bishop, following choir boys waving incense, led an impressive solemnly and fancifully attired entourage through the thickets of the onlookers, towards the heavy gates, we knew it would be impossible to get pass.

Those were the two only attempts I tried to enter a church on Christmas eves.  I have returned to the Cathedral but never got chance to see the interior.  The gates were always closed when I visited the site.  In the U.S., despite the freedom to do so, or perhaps because of it, I felt no interest in participate of witness a Christmas service.

I do have a Bible at home, but haven't really read it, despite the importance of it.  That said, I don't think I am totally ignorant of the doctrines of Christianity and over the years, I even produced some paintings full of religious undertones, such as the 2003 painting Dissonance below:




>> My Path, Part VI: To be continued
<< My Path, Part IV: My First Devastation and Cynicism

Merry Christmas!

I wish everyone a merry Christmas!