Wie soll ich Freud finden, wenn ich die Arbeti nicht machen kann? - How shall I find joy, when I cannot do the work?

Time to time, I found myself struggling with my paintings - either the direction they took on were not of my original designs and I was not sure if I should follow the natural courses or the original designs, or I was not able to achieve my vision, or suddenly I lost my interest in the piece I'd been working on for months.  Whatever the reasons were, the struggle was very difficult and demoralizing.  Life became so joyless.

I suppose, this experience is not unique.  I am reading the book “Ich will wirken in dieser Zeit” (I will make impact in this time), a collection of letters and diaries by German artist Käthe Kollwitz.  In September 1916, she wrote below entry in her diary:

September 1916

Am 7. September sehe ich meine Arbeit so trostlos an, daß ich beschließe, vorläufig nicht weiter daran zu arbeiten. Ich habe innerlich das Gefühl von Leersein. Wie soll ich Freud finden, wenn ich die Arbeit nicht machen kann? Mit jemand zu sprechen hat gar keinen Sinn. Nichts und niemand kann mir helfen.

Ich geb es natürlich nicht auf – das kann ich vielleicht gar nicht –, aber eine Pause. Keine Freude hab ich jetzt. Den ganzen Tag hab ich gestern alles Mögliche erledigt. Aber wozu ist das?

I am including my rough translation below:

September 1916

On 7 September, I see my work so dreary that I decide temporarily not to continue to work on it.  I have a feeling of emptiness inside.  How shall I find joy, when I cannot do the work?  Talking to someone makes no sense.  Nothing and no one can help me.

I do not give up of course – perhaps I can not, – just a break.  Right now I have no joy.  All day yesterday I have done everything possible.  But what is it?

Yes, we all struggle.  Perhaps it is pretentious to mention myself and Kollwitz in one single sentence but she is one of the artists I revere most and it would not be wrong to try to draw inspiration from her, I believe.


"Woman with Dead Child" by Kathe Kollwitz, etching, 1903 National Gallery of Art,D.C. (Image source: Wikipedia)

Art Gallery of Luxun Art Academy in Shenyang, China

When I visited my home city, Shenyang, China, last month, I stopped by Art Gallery of Luxun Art Academy. Unfortunately, it was closed. During my last three visits, only once I was able to see some artwork there.

Most of the galleries and museum in China don't seem to have a consistent hours or curating philosophy. Not a single one of the museums I've visited there ever sold any reproductions of their works. When I visited the National Gallery in Beijing, I found no permanent oil painting collections on display. Such visits were often disappointing.

From the abundant of graffiti on the walls of the Art Gallery of Luxun Art Academy, I guessed that it had not been operating for a long time. The graffiti are not interesting. However, a group of insolent young people in front of them were intriguing. They were making some strange fighting poses and one of them was busying shooting videos of themselves and the graffiti.

That turned out to be the only art experience of this visit to my home city, which has never been known as art mecca anyway.















Note: Lu Xun (September 25, 1881 – October 19, 1936) is one of the major Chinese writers of the 20th century and had introduced Käthe Kollwitz into China.

A Sad Story and an Argument for Buying Living Artists' Works

Today, I read this story in San Francisco Chronicle: "S.F. dealer accused of selling fake Miró prints". According to Chronicle, "Pasquale Iannetti, 69, who runs Pasquale Iannetti Art Galleries Inc. on Sutter Street, was indicted Thursday by a grand jury in San Francisco on charges of wire and mail fraud for allegedly shipping prints that purportedly had been authorized by Miró, the renowned Spanish Catalan painter and sculptor who died in 1983."

It is a sad story. I have visited the Gallery before, for a special exhibit of works by the great German artist Käthe Kollwitz. Apparently impressed by my admiration for Kollwitz, Mr. Iannetti gave me a copy of their beautifully produced catalog, which still sits amongst my treasured artbooks on my shelf. I felt sad for his downfall and felt bad for the collectors who were duped.

Yet, this is a story argues for buying living artists. People should not treat artworks as commodoties. They should buy what they love to see and if they are not experts to tell geniune from fake, then buying artworks they love from living artists would solve the problem more than adquetly.